Healing a Broken Heart
At the time I am writing this, the group that went on a pilgrimage to Italy have been home for a few days, and I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what I experienced and what I learned about myself. I had a God moment that I would like to share with you, but first a little background as to why this moment was so powerful.
When Father Dale baptized me in August 2020, he told me and reminded all of us that when you are baptized and give your life to Jesus, don’t expect an easy pass to life, you will continue to struggle.
My life since that day has been one struggle after another after another. I have lost family pets, family members, and friends. I changed jobs, thinking I would find happiness in another work environment, and have been unemployed for six months. My mental health took a turn for the worse after my dad died in December 2021 and had to face a reality that I needed help that I had previously tried to ignore. My experience with the medical community to get help with my depression and PTSD was more harmful than helpful.
Fast forward to September/October 2022, and I am in Italy with 36 members of our PWC family. There were so many great moments as a family, but the one I want to share was during my time in solitude, when about 20 of us chose to go on an optional half day excursion to Cascia to visit Saint Rita. I learned that Saint Rita is the patron saint of the impossible cases, so being the child I am, I decided to play a game with God and see if I could make my impossible, possible.
Inside the church where Saint Rita rests is a small chapel that includes an altar and above it is the Eucharist. In a place with such peace, I found myself in need to pray, so I knelt at the altar and just started praying- first, I prayed for those that were on the pilgrimage with me; second, I prayed for those that were at home; finally, I prayed that God would heal my broken heart.
While I was still kneeling at the altar, considering myself one of those impossible cases, I felt the pain and the depression leave my heart. This doesn’t change the fact that I still miss those that God called home, but it has helped tremendously to gain my life back and to look forward to a future I thought had been snuffed out by pain, depression, and grief.
While there are many things I learned during our pilgrimage to Italy, I was reminded that God can make the deaf hear, the blind see, and the doubter believe. I was deaf to what God wanted me to hear. I couldn’t see God moments when they happened right in front of me. I doubted whether I was good enough to receive God’s love. But that time of prayer with the saint of impossible cases just around the corner, God showed his love and mercy and healed my broken heart.
I heard him say “I love you Savannah!”. I saw my pain and depression leave my heart. I stopped doubting that I wasn’t good enough in God’s eyes. God showed me that I am his child and my life has purpose still, and nobody can take away what God has given us.
Remember you are not alone in your struggles and God loves you always!