Kerry Pardue’s Reflection

They say we all have one.  A doppelgänger.  Another person in the world who is our exact double.  Someone who looks as much like us as an identical twin – a real split-egg, shared-birth, DNA copycat person, but without the family connection.

Our doppelgängers are believed to share a similar personality with us, too:  same traits and temperament, same likes and dislikes, same strengths and vulnerabilities.  All those things that make us go “wow!” or “ewww!” are uncannily the same as our doppelgängers.  Sometimes, we even have the same birth dates.

There was a time when doppelgängers were dreaded, thought to bring bad luck.  It was certainly a bad omen if you saw your own.  The name itself (doppelgänger) is German and stands for “double walker.”  In English the term is “dead ringer.”  In ancient Egypt they were your “spirit doubles.”  The Norse called them “ghost walkers,” and they preceded you, walking through your life just ahead of you, performing your actions just before you did.  Often in literature they’re referred to as your “shadow self.”  All of which do sound rather haunting, foreboding, dark and suggestive.

Today, however, science is proving doppelgängers to be very real.  A trick of long-standing genetics and roll-the-dice coincidence:  generations of DNA strands that align just right.  (Of course, there is always the theory of time travel, which is popular with some folks, too.)

Personally, I rather like the idea of having a doppelgänger.  I like to believe he is alive and well and living in Paris.  Or in the old part of Vienna.  Perhaps in a woodland in Scotland.  Or near a lake in Switzerland.  He is a write.  A lover of animals and nature.  He’s living alone in his skylight apartment (or small cozy cottage) guarding his independence.  He’s just my age.  Unfortunately, he also has breaky bones, so he’s probably also gimpy from being blind-sided by dogs or a tumble over cats.

But what if he’s not safe in a cafe in Paris … or a cottage in Scotland or Switzerland?  What if he’s living somewhere else?  Somewhere war-torn or unjust and unkind, or filled with mudslides and fires or lack of food, and bombs screaming all around him?  And there are other hurting people screaming all around him?  And he’s trying to survive, trying to walk to safety, afraid of losing his brave brown dog, struggling to carry his old black and white cat.  Losing strength every day.  Losing hope.  And he’s frightened and in danger all the time.  And he’s in pain.  What if my doppelgänger is still under the rubble?

So here I am sitting in the warm Arizona sun.  Safe on the steps of my own home, tossing a ball for my own brave brown dog, with my old black and white cat asleep in the window.  I sit in my comfort and privilege and think of my doppelgänger.  Wherever he is.  And so I think I must pray for him – and his dog and his cat.

I think about if I were in his place.  Would I be able to survive?  Would I just turn my face to the wall.  Would I even call out for help?  Would my fear and trembling overtake me?

I must pray for them all to be safe and unafraid and searched for and found.  I must pray for his courage.  For more courage than I might have in his place.  I’ll pray that, even if I would give up, he still has the passion to climb out from under the weight of the chaos and collapse that closes in on him.  I’ll pray he is fierce.

And I’ll pray that he knows I am praying for him.  As I hope he is praying for me.  But more importantly, I know that there is a God and He is the creator of all things.  I know that He watches over me and guides me along the path of life I am on.  Whether or not I have a double or a doppelganger, I know that God would watch over him the same as me.

Over the years, I have thought of the possibility of having a double who was just like me,  I can’t even image all the trouble, chaos, and problems that we would bring to people’s lives.  Perhaps it is best to just continue to believe that I am a special creation of God’s and He knew what He was doing by putting me in the here and now.  He tells me over and over I am THUMPBODY special.

Thanks, God!